Do you sell time?
by Detective Yoite
Summary: Meenah wants to get her fortune back, so she decides to try something new. Based on the prompt "Do you sell time?" that I found on Pintrest. It was just too perfect for this fandom. One shot.
"do you sell time?" Came the unusual question.

"what?" Came the predictable answer.

"do. you. sell. time?" Meenah asked, again.

"what. do. you. mean?" Dave asked back.

"you are the knight of time. you control time. do you sell it?" Meenah questioned, insistently.

Dave responded in his usual manner, the gist of which was "No."

"come on, dude. You should. if I market it for you will you give me a cut?"

Dave's next reply could also be summarized as "No."

"you're no fun." Meenah grumbled.

Dave shrugged. "sorry, man. don't know what to tell you. good luck with raising your army, or  
whatever."

He walked off.

It hadn't been too long since Meenah died and she was trying to get her fortune back. (Raise an army, too, but she was focusing on the fortune for now.) She'd done fairly well so far, but was looking for another source of profit. She figured that time would be somefin that a lot of the ghosts would want to get their hands on, since it could be hard to talk to people linearly in a place where time didn't exist.

But that Dave guy didn't wanna help. So that left Meenah with two other people to ask. (Actually three, but she didn't know that yet.) One of those people, though, she hated. Might as  
well get that one over with first.

Meenah picked a random direction and started walking. She'd find Damara eventually. After a whale of walking, she found Aranea, with her little information booth.

"hey. aranea. have you seen damara around? i'm lookin for her." Meenah asked, also hoping that Aranea would pay her for listening to the answer to a question that she actually WANT-ED to know the answer to.

"I have. She's over that way." She gestured behind herself. "Why are you looking for her?"

"no reason. i just gotta ask her somefin." Meenah shrugged.

"Ok. Well if you need more information, you know where I'll 8e." She smiled.

"yeah, yeah." Meenah rolled her eyes and started in the direction Aranea had indicated. Aranea had not payed her.

It wasn't long before she found Rufioh getting reacquainted with his lusus. They hadn't seen each other in a long time, after all.

"rufioh. Where's damara?" Meenah asked, bluntly.

"oh… 1 haven't seen her in a bit… she's probably around, though." He said, unhelpfully.

"'k. bye." Meenah walked off without waiting for a response.

She found Damara standing just out of sight of Rufioh.

"hey damara." Meenah greeted.

Damara, predictably, responded in Japanese. Which Meenah didn't speak. Meenah assumed she probably said somefin along the lines of "What are you doing, talking to me?" But less PG.

"'k. do you wanna try sellin time? we can split the profit." Meenah attempted to motivate her.

Based on tone, facial expressions, and past experience, Meenah assumed Damara's response was "No."

"aw, come on. it could work." Meenah prompted.

She could understand what Damara said next and decided it was time to leave. "k, damara. hate you, too. bye."

 _whale that was unsurprising._ Meenah thought as she walked quickly away. That left just one person left. She had no idea how to find Aradia, though.

As she walked along, she saw Mituna and almost asked him if he knew where Sollux was, since he was usually around Aradia, but she decided not to since it was nearly impossible to understand Mituna most of the time.

She passed Kurloz and Meulin, who were signing excitedly to one another, while a suspicious troll in a purple suit stood behind them, looking annoyed.

"Meenah." A familiar voice called. "Have y9u seen Karkat?"

"no, kankri, i haven't. i'm lookin for someone else. Later." Meenah left quickly.

She did manage to find both Karkat and Sollux just moments later, talking together.

"Hey, Karkat." Meenah greeted. "Hey, Sollux. Do ya know where Aradia is? I gotta ask her somefin."

"OH. HEY MEENAH." Karkat replied.

"hello, feferi's dancest0r. aradia is outside, enj0ying the fake sun." Sollux informed her, sounding irritated at being interrupted.

"Cool. Thanks. See ya, Karkat. Bye Sollux." Meenah went outside the building she found herself in due to dream bubble nonsense.

"hi, meenah!" Aradia greeted. "what are you doing?"

"hey. i'm tryin to get my fortune back. do you sell time?" Meenah replied.

"sell time? no, i can't say that i do." Aradia said, thoughtfully.

"do ya want ta try?" Meenah asked. "i'll advertise and we can split the profit."

"that sounds great! then we can have a party with the money we make!" Aradia sounded very excited at this point.

"what kinda party are ya thinkin about?" Meenah questioned.

"a corpse party!" Aradia answered, enthusiastically.

"k. never mind. bye, aradia." Meenah once again found herself walking away, fast.

Now she didn't know what to do. It was a good idea, but everyone had either said 'no' or wanted to use the money gained to through a party for dead things. Meenah sighed. Was nobody here sane but her?

She sighed again and decided to focus on raising her army.

She worked on that for a while, focusing all her effort on trying to defeat Lord English. But eventually Aranea left to go back to life and Meenah was left without an army again, even though she and Vriska had found Lord English's weakness. So she hung out with Vriska for a while and was happy. But she eventually became discontent, so when a living Vriska asked her to return to the battle, she agreed. She and this new Vriska did some plotting and research and discovered, through an unknown source, that Lord English's title was lord of time. Huh. After Tavros had gathered the army, Meenah, the new Vriska, and a sleeping Karkat lead said army to fight Lord English.

When they finally arrived, Karkat ran over and got himself killed, and therefore woken up. Then the real battle started. Vriska was off dealing with a weird orange human and ghosts were getting double killed left and right.

Suddenly, Meenah remembered a thought she'd had sweeps ago.

She stepped boldly forward.

")(-EY!" She called, drawing Lord English's attention. "DO YOU S-ELL TIM-E?"


End file.
